When the grass is always greener…

{Warning: this is a heart-on-sleeve post about things not really garden related… proceed at your own peril}

So. Where to begin? I spent the better part of today planning to sell up and move. Specifically to this house:

The house is (obviously) gorgeous and the town of Burrawang has popped up in my life repeatedly for a few months, so seeing this house on all my feeds this morning felt like a sign. And yes, I do believe in signs communicated via the internet. Particularly when they have gorgeous kitchens with a window above the sink.

I feel like, lest anybody think I am trying to paint an idyllic picture of life in the country on The Tree Diaries, that I need to be honest about how often I have thought recently: “Right, I'm DONE. I’m sick of having our water fail. I’m sick of having to only run appliances in the middle of the day (and then only if it’s sunny). I’m sick of the things that break and having nobody who will drive this far out to fix them (unless we pay double their fee). I need to be able to walk to a cafe! I need a yoga class... one that doesn't involve a 3hr excursion! I need a flippin' community for goodness sake!"

And so that’s where I got to today. I was moving my whole family an hour and a half up the road to the Southern Highlands. To a village where everything (well, everything that I would need, which honestly mostly = tea, cake, conversation, and the odd burger) was within walking distance.

Anyhoo, at some point in this planning I got a bit panicked at how agreeable my husband seemed and how much turmoil I was just about to commit my whole family to (pup, chooks and bees included). But the problem is, I am serious about needing some things that I just don't have right now. 

So, taking a step back from my extreme plan of selling our home and moving away, I have been trying to work through the things that I really believe I need and how I can make them work.

Firstly, no matter what I do to our house or our life here, walking distances aren’t ever going to happen. I have to accept that and move on. Schlepping two children in the car a minimum of 20 minutes each way to anything is not going to change. But we don’t have to drive to enjoy walks and we have the most beautiful property to walk upon (albeit sometimes a bit too snake-y to attempt...). So I'm buying a secondhand double stroller and committing myself to walking with the kids and the pup whenever the urge strikes. There can even be tea and cake at the end of it, so long as I bake in advance. Driving is a part of our lives out here, so I just really need to come to terms with that once and for all. At least there’s never any traffic! 

Re the yoga class: I'm still stumped on that, so if anybody in the Bungendore region knows of one that is at around 7.30pm on a weeknight, please let me know!

And finally, the lack of a community. Well, frankly that one is completely my own fault. I am naturally introverted so living in the middle of nowhere, with effectively no neighbours or strangers to meet has been a bit too easy for me. When you don’t live in a community, community suddenly becomes an opt-in thing, and I guess that I kind of haven’t. Opted-in, that is. So I am committing myself to joining at least one playgroup (there are two in the general area, both within a 30 minute drive), so that I can spend time with other mums in similar circumstances. 

I’m also going to try to find all the really great bits of our area and compile myself a little “best bits” list. Stuff all those Southern Highlander instagrammers* who post their gorgeous little cafes or vineyards or cute shops and the like. We have great places in our local area and I am determined to enjoy them (*not really, please keep posting those beautiful photos!). As much as I adore social media for the inspiration and community that we share there, it is so very very easy to fall into the “grass is greener” trap. It’s like advertising - you know that it is selling you a dream, but you buy buy buy. I guess that we just have to remind ourselves that is a dream, and that somebody else sees our lives the same way.

Lastly, I am acknowledging that at least in part the appeal of a house in a village is the more manageable size of the garden. Mine is defeating me at the moment. So, soooooo, I am contemplating hiring a gardener one morning a week. Except that once again, it is hard to find people to do such things when you don't live near anywhere. So that's a task I have ahead of me.

Okay, so. There's that. Heart on sleeve. I finally figured out how to switch on comments should you know of evening yoga in Bungers or great places that are local to us, or if wish to share your thoughts about any of the above (please do!). Do you feel that the grass is often greener on the other side of instagram?